Grayson McCall: " It Was Extremely Difficult"

NC State quarterback Grayson McCall met with the media today to discuss his recent decision to retire from football.

NOTE: Click the video above to watch the interview.

So first of all, last week you put out the release. How difficult was it to come to terms with that first of all? 
It was extremely difficult, but at the end of the day, I knew it was a possibility because of everything that happened last year, and getting re-injured in the La Tech game. Going into it, from that point forward I knew it was a possibility. But to actually have the conversations and, you know, have to kind of put it into words and things like that, it was tough. I knew, one day the cleats were going to come off and the helmet was going to come off, but for it to happen like that and the way it did, it was just, you know, really heartbreaking for me. But luckily for me, I've got a lot of great people in my corner that have kind of helped me through this. So I'm just kind of going through the transition and, you know, excited for what's next. 

Grayson, have you really educated yourself on concussions? I mean, you know, potential problems with CP, all the things that can happen with concussions. Have you looked into that? 
Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, like I said, when it happened last year, obviously it was a pretty bad concussion. And it was really eye-opening for me. So just kind of taking it as an educational opportunity to learn and, you know, continuing to learn as I'm going throughout this process. But, at the end of the day, I want to have a full life. I want to get married and have kids one day. I want to be a football coach and I want to be a great dad one day. So without a healthy brain, none of those things are possible. So, you know, I love the game so much, but it's come down to things bigger than that.

What team were you diagnosed with? Were you diagnosed with one after La Tech? How many did you have in your career? 
Yeah, I think the one last year, I think it was four or so. We got six or seven total. And, you know, I think every doctor kind of has their own opinion. But once you get kind of the four to five range or anything after that, it really isn't good. I think what I've learned from this last one is that the more you continue to get, the chances of a full recovery, you know, decrease. 

So, yeah, I think it's been... I know, obviously, there's a transition period that you have to have.

And as Doeren said yesterday, that you've got to give your time. But with time being a factor, you wanted to be a coach. How quickly do you have to kind of make that transition to getting to the mindset of learning and trying to learn everything you can from this staff? And having that experience to be able to prepare yourself for a future to be a, whether it's a high school coach, a college coach, whatever you want to be. 
Yeah, I think it's, you know, rather a quick transition. I think I'm obviously blessed to have a coach like Coach Doeren and Coach Roper and his staff here that are kind of letting me get my feet wet now. You know, kind of serving that role now and helping CJ and helping the other guys and sitting through coaches meetings and things like that just to, you know, get my feet wet and see how I like it. And so I'm obviously blessed with the opportunity to be able to do that here and kind of getting things started. So I'm excited to see where it goes. 

What do you envision then as, I know obviously this is all happening very quickly, but have you thought about at all what the game plan is in a way? Like, hey, timetable, I want to make you start out as a high school coach. I want to go straight as a grad assistant on the college staff. 
Yeah, I mean, I'd like to, I'd like to start on the college level if possible. Obviously played for three different staffs and have a lot of connections throughout the country involved with college football. So hopefully I get the opportunity and I can make the best of it and we'll go from there. 

You've talked about your future and what you want that to look like, but that doesn't make the decision any easier. What kind of emotions were you feeling as you were having those conversations? 
Yeah, I think, you know, the one positive I can take to this thing is I don't have any regret, you know, throughout my whole college career. You know, I've laid it on the line every single game, every single play, obviously for the guys beside me, but just the love that I have for the game. And I think that's one positive I can take from it that I don't have any regrets. Other than that, just kind of a whirlwind of emotions, obviously upset and sad and going through all that. But, you know, kind of just disappointed with how my time went here, obviously I didn't play to the best of my ability. And that kind of hurts. But, you know, I think at the end of the day, you know, everything happens for a reason. And, you know, I believe that even going through this time when that's hard to believe and see through. But at the end of the day, I am happy that I don't have any regrets as hard as all this is. And I know I'll get through it. And there's a brighter side at the end of this. But I'm just kind of going through all those emotions still right now.

How important has it been to have the space from the coaching staff and from the university to, in such a quick, quick transition, be able to make the space for you to make that decision and then kind of help you along and get started in your coaching career?
Yeah, it's special. I think it just, you know, kind of complements the type of people we have in the building here. And, you know, I'm aware that it's not like that everywhere. So for them to, you know, keep me around and, you know, give me the ability to sit in on different things and kind of voice my opinion and help out, I mean, it's really important to me and I'm really grateful for it. So I'm obviously really thankful for, you know, just the opportunity to come here and be the quarterback. And now just the opportunity that they're giving me to, you know, kind of start my coaching career and see where it goes.

Coach, you mentioned that you, the timing of everything, having the off week, having a chance to be with family, it sounded like. How big was that just for what I imagined was a rollercoaster of emotions the past couple of weeks? 
Yeah, I mean, it was huge. I mean, obviously I'm kind of going through this, but there's a lot of people that are also going through this. Obviously, this journey that I've had for so long now has been really special to my family and kind of taking us places we never thought we'd go and, you know, kind of done things like that. So as hard as it is for me, it was really helpful to go home and just be around family, be around loved ones and just kind of have a reality check that there's so much more to life than football. You know, and being around it, you know, kind of 365 days a year for the past 20 years now, it's going to be a hard adjustment. But being around those people that love me and care about me, it's special. So I'm grateful that they let me go home to be around my family for a week. But refreshing, I'm glad to be back and helping the team get another win.

Football is a naturally violent sport. Do you feel like there should be changes based on your experiences, whether players should wear guardian caps or something needs to be changed about this? 
targeting rule and things like that. But, I mean, we signed up for it, right? Like every time you put the helmet on, you go out there and play. There's a chance you can get hurt. And I think that's what makes this sport so special. It's a violent sport. It's a tough sport. And if you're not tough, you can't play it.

So it all starts with a mindset, and I've always had that mindset. Whenever the mindset wavers that, you know, you're scared to get hurt or you're hesitating out there, it all goes bad. So I think, you know, this is a game that we signed up to play. And if you're not tough, it's not for you. 

How much does being in this role now help you kind of make this transition from not playing, still being around the team, still being, you know, as a captain? 
Yeah, I mean, it definitely helps. It's, you know, it's what I love to do. It's something I've always done. Obviously, my role is changing as I'm not on the field. But being the same leader for the teammates, being, you know, the quarterback in the room that's played a lot of games and played a lot of snaps can kind of help those guys through it. So I think my leadership role in that space doesn't change. But it's just kind of difficult for me to make the transition, and it all happens so fast. Being out there at practice, I just want to pick the ball up and run around and throw it. So I'm still fighting that. But, you know, I'll get through it, but it'll just come with time. 

Does it help at all that this was so open? You know, people saw your family come down to the field. They know the hit. They've seen the replay. Did that help or did it complicate it? Because everyone understands what you went through.
Yeah, I mean, maybe so. I don't know if it makes it easier, but I think there's a better understanding that guys were able to, you know, see what I went through last year and for it to kind of all happen again. I mean, it felt like just a big deja vu moment for me. But, I mean, I wouldn't say it makes it any easier. I think just people have a better understanding of why I'm making this decision and how scary it was. I mean, it was really scary for me. But, you know, all my teammates and everybody that were right there and saw it happen, it was pretty scary for them. So, I mean, for guys to see that happen and to have the courage to strap it back up and go out there to the next play, I mean, it says a lot about the game. It says a lot about the guys we have here. So, yeah, I'll just kind of leave it at that. I don't think it made it any easier, but I do think it allowed people to have a better understanding of what happened. 

Can you walk us through that process from October 5th when you go to the hospital to when you have to make that decision on at least make it public? What were those conversations like? When did you have them? When did you sort of make that decision?
Yeah, like I said earlier, I mean, I was fully aware of that being a possibility when everything happened. And, you know, I kind of knew. I mean, whenever I woke up in the ambulance and they took me to the hospital, I, you know, opened my eyes and my mom was right beside me. And, you know, we kind of just both looked at each other at the same time and said, that's it. You know, I can't, as much as I love this game and everything it's done for me, I can't put myself through that again. I just can't mentally. I talked about my health earlier, my family and all the things I want to do in the future, it's just not worth it at the end of the day. So, you know, whenever I woke up and came to the conclusion that was probably it. I just kind of had to build up the courage to have those conversations and ultimately, you know, write something up and make it public. But, I mean, I kind of knew that it was a reality that it could happen.

We've heard from Coach Doeren, even all season really, that this guy's going to make a great coach when his playing days are over. Even though, even with the way it happened, playing careers a little over a little bit sooner, what does it mean to have that vote of confidence from him that you have a bright future in football, even as a coach as well?
Yeah, it's special. I really appreciate Coach Doeren and all he's done for me here. You know, to have such a prestigious coach like that say, you know, positive words like that for me, going into a new role is special. But I think if you just, you know, you watch how I play the game and the passion I have and, you know, the want to help people, I think you can make those assumptions. But, yeah, it means a lot and I'm obviously really thankful to Coach Doeren.